Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
