He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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