Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
