my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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