If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The air was thick with penises
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
