I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
