I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
