Quick, to the slutcave!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
