I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We need to get me chipped asap
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
