anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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