Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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