So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
