You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
