I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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