Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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