Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
