just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
