We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Drake has all the answers
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
