he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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