Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You work out of a Hotel?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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