When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
