Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
