I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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