your thong is hanging out like whoa
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
