I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
