I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
