So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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