make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
