I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
