He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
