is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
