I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
