I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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