.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
