My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
