So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
