Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
thus making me awesome and them whores
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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