I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
