i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
But theres a keg here and me gusta
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
