i just wanna soil my oats bro
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
