Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
