This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
