Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
