yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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