It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
