Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
