So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
