This girl is more easily done than said...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
