I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
