There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
