She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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