i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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